Greetings all. I'll make sure to get to your comments at another date, as I'm in the throws of much work at the end of the semester. You should enjoy this play I wrote (and revised, for those who read it before). It is far from perfect, but it was good enough to get an A. There's just a lot of potential for more. Anyway, enjoy.
Characters in order of appearance:
Roger – The main character, a man 58 years of age. He is wearing a nice but comfortable black outfit, he is of average height. There are to be no distinguishing attributes about the actor cast for this role.
Scissortick – An imp, he constantly changes forms throughout the play. Depending on the circumstances must be played by either gender but the actors must keep in mind to not seem evil. It is important that all the actors be about the same height. Main attributes: charismatic, mysterious, friendly, helpful, and innocent. When he first appears Scissortick looks like a classic imp, short, red, bald head and horns except that he is wearing a pin-striped suit and hat.
Elizabeth – A regular at Roger’s bar she’s 35 and a bit of a flirt. She’s wearing a lavender blouse, has her hair down (but brought pins and ties) and the longer the actor’s hair the better, and she does not have jewelry on. Her slacks and shoes must match with the blouse’s color and style, but be sure to choose something that looks nice but is also obviously not high quality. She’s of average height.
Herald – Another regular at Roger’s bar, he’s 24 and young to be a drunk. He’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt but make sure he’s taller than the other actors.
Setting: A small but tastefully decorated bar with pictures on the walls, two booths on the stage right and stage left walls near to the front of the stage, 3 tables in the center each with 4 chairs around them, and a U shaped bar with 3 stools on each side of the bar, though the director may alter this setup for ease. The entrance to the bar comes from the stage-left center and to the left of the bar is the women’s restroom, to the right the men’s. In the far north-east corner is a jukebox set catty-corner to the center of the room. Behind the bar are many shelves full of different kinds of liquor, some taps, an ice machine, glasses, towels, and other various things (like advertisement signs) that one normally sees behind the bar.
Scene – The stage lights are not on, sound of a door opening and the soft patter of footfalls is made. After a few steps the click of a switch being thrown is heard, but no lights respond.
Roger – Great, the fuse box decided to try and take the day off without even calling in sick.
(He mutters incoherently and the footfalls are louder due to his stomping around. He bangs into a table and yells in pain. As Roger tries to open the fuse-box you hear the sound of keys jingling and scraping on metal, after a few moments he succeeds.)
Roger – Now then, none of my employee’s are taking leave today so get back to work! (The lights come on; he walks over to the door, flips the closed sign to open, unlocks it, and goes behind the counter to prepare some of the more popular mixed drinks)
(As soon as he gets behind the counter the door chimes to alert the bartender to a patron. Scissortick saunters in and stands near to the bar.)
Roger – Hey there (he doesn’t look up at the customer), I just opened up so I don’t have any drinks up yet but you can sit here at the bar and I’ll poor you something straight if you want.
Scissortick – (Try to give him a smooth, city slicker voice) Well, I would thank you for the courtesy, my good man, but I regret to tell you that I really don’t take any pleasure at all from alcohol.
Roger – There’s an ice-cream shop just down the street.
Scissortick – (He smiles with a big grin) You see, I’m here to offer you my services for as long as you need them.
(At this Roger turns to look at him.)
Roger – Now what... Oh, it’s you.
Scissortick – (He chuckles and puts his hands on his hips) Been a while!
Roger – I’m not exactly thrilled that you came back. What do you want this time?
Scissortick – Well, I’m not here for myself. I have come to offer you my must humble services. (He flourishes a bow)
Roger – Uhuh, and you’ll want my soul or something like that in exchange right?
Scissortick – Here’s the deal, I won’t ever ask you for anything. I won’t ask you for your soul. The price of my help is completely free, no charge.
Roger – Assuming that I can trust your word, which I don’t, can I also at any time discontinue your services?
Scissortick – When the time comes you’ll understand how to do that. As for trust, let’s just say that “higher powers” (Hands do quotes for emphasis) will make sure that I don’t go back on my word.
Roger – Alright, fine. What are you offering?
Scissortick – Well let’s start out with a gift that keeps on giving. See this cup? (Scissortick produce a cup from inside his coat and Roger, after a pause, nods) Well, it’s the legendary never empty wine cup. But here’s the kick, it’s like a drug. All your senses will be enhanced in a nice pleasant fashion.
Roger – Oookay... Let’s try it then. (Quaffs, a moment passes - the lights will reflect the effect of the wine by becoming brighter as he speaks for the next few minutes) Are you sure this works?
Scissortick – Give it a minute to reach full potency, it doesn’t last too long so you don’t have these effects permanently. Oh, by the way if you need me just say my name, you’re about to get some customers. You could... you know... share the love. (Scissortick strolls out the back and whistles the battle hymn of the republic placidly)
Roger – I’ll never understand him.
(Door chimes ring)
Elizabeth – Roger, buddy, I keep telling myself that one of these days I’ll stop coming. That’s not today though; could you whip me up a daiquiri? (She takes a seat at a table, sitting catty-corner to the audience.)
Roger – Anything for you Elizabeth. (Starts concocting a strawberry daiquiri) I gotta say you’re looking very bright and winning tonight.
Elizabeth – Funny, I don’t feel bright and winning – (Door chimes again) I’ll take a guess. Is that Herald back there? (She turns to look, and Roger puts some of the wine into the drink)
Herald – (Genuinely) How’d you know? Roger... let’s not waste any time give me something off of the top shelf.
Roger – No.
Herald – Oh c’mon!
Roger – No, you can’t hold your liquor. You can have anything that’s below 20 and that’s it.
Herald – Whatever... (He approaches the table and sits a bit away from Elizabeth)
Roger – Here, try this wine. Maybe you’ll get a little culture in ya.
Herald – Wine!?
Roger – That’s right. (He pours from the magic cup into another cup below the counter)
Herald – Alright alright (Drinks), that’s not so bad.
Elizabeth – Hey! I ordered first!
Roger – Oh yeah, bad move here first one is on the house.
Elizabeth – That’s more like it. (She begins drinking) Ugh so, I really was going to quit today but then my boyfriend left me for some “feisty minx“ and didn’t even take the courtesy to call and tell me himself. No, instead his new dear love wrote me a letter and slipped is under my door! As soon as I read it I called his phone, but the line was no longer in service. Roger (simpering) why does this happen to me?
Roger – It’s life kid.
Elizabeth – Yeah... I guess. Does this room look brighter to either of you?
Herald – You’re right it does!
Roger – Hey don’t shout! Great now I did it.
Elizabeth – Roger did you slip something into our drinks?
Roger – Kind of... That new wine is supposed to have these effects.
Herald – It’s kind of weird but cool. (He starts looking around the room with awe; he gets up and starts feeling the seat cushions) Even the leather feels more.... leathery! You know, I want to hear some music with this feeling.
Elizabeth – Yes please! Make it something smooth... (He plays “What a wonderful world”)
Roger – Yeah.... Hey I’ll be right back. (Goes to the hallway of the men’s restroom, the lights in the main room fade and the lights in the hallway brighten)
Scissortick – (When Roger opens the bathroom door Scissortick walks out and closes it behind him. In his charming imp voice) Really Roger, when are you going to enjoy the gift?
Roger – (Startled, but doesn’t yell) Don’t sneak up on me like that!
Scissortick – I apologize, I just wanted to have a little heart to heart with you. Don’t you want fresh experiences?
Roger – No not really. I’m no Doctor Faust, I don’t want carnal experiences, or to know it all, or to be so smart. I mean, I’ve lived a while now and there just isn’t anything worth it. I guess you could call me apathetic or pessimistic if you wanted but, life just doesn’t have anything in it that’s actually worth living for.
Scissortick – Nothing at all? There’s nothing that would help you ‘find the way’ as it were? I have some gifts of knowledge as well, a thinking cap and a magic 8 ball.
Roger – I don’t have the patience for them, besides I don’t even think I know the right questions to ask. Where do you start when life doesn’t have any ups or downs? When there isn’t a keystone or a center piece or a star to revolve around? (He chokes up) And then there’s you! I already thought life was a mystery but you’re just a quirky little unsolvable maze. How can something like you exist? Are you just an alien pretending to be an imp and all of this has been some great “experiment”? Or are you really an evil spirit from hell? I’m pretty sure I didn’t believe in hell before, and accepting that it’s actually there now will really mess up my paradigm. (At this point he is white knuckled, and close to crying) I mean, that’s a definite “down”, if you know what I mean and ain’t nobody who wants to go there. And another thing! It’d be just the way this world works if there was a hell but no heaven! Or, if there was a heaven it stands empty and colder than the black between the stars. And you thought it was strange that I found work to do or somewhere to be when those two baboons were playing around, I couldn’t stand the implications! I DON’T KNOW what I prefer, no answers and no hope of them or no answers with elusive threads promising ways out of this labyrinth! (He pants and looks at the demon with a frenzied glance, so much more is on his heart to say but his passions outran his tongue and he can’t speak)
Scissortick – Well then, I could say, “Oh wow, I never saw it coming that’s a pretty hard nut to crack buddy!” But I’d be lying about it. Do you think I just waltzed in here never having seen you before or without knowing what sort of man you were? That’s not right. No, I’ve known you your entire life. When you were 10 you liked bikes more than cars cause you would rather be at the helm than in the back-seat. When you were 15 you found it strange how the other guys acted around girls your age and it wasn’t till you were 16 that it dawned on you that you were the strange one. When you were 27, having found your latent passion, you survived your first break-up with a lady named Carmen and you began to think real seriously about the meaning of life and you tried and tried to find the answer to it all. When you were... are now you finally agree with this strange creature named Scissortick who promises you the world – but you’re not interested. I am the wine, the ball, the hat, and... this mirror. (He holds up a hand mirror. It’s blue and it looks like a normal mirror)
Roger – So that’s your answer! Another toy! (He starts to laugh but instead he chokes his tears)
Scissortick – I’m afraid you were the one who wasn’t listening. I know you, through and through. You have never had a more faithful companion than me. Get it? This mirror is what you really want.
Roger – Oh yeah, and what’s it supposed to do?
Scissortick – It’s a truth window.
Roger – I thought you just called it a mirror, you better explain - I’m in no mood for games.
Scissortick – Yes well, it’s a paradox in a way. It’s both a mirror AND a window. Wherever the face is pointing it will reveal on the back side the truth about the scene, or person, or whatever.
Roger – Funny, you say you are the mirror but if it really only tells the truth then how could you wear costumes?
Scissortick – Because all those... skins you could call them are really just another part of me.
Roger – If you say so, I’m used to disappointing answers though so don’t sweat it. (The demon shrugs)
Scissortick – Why don’t you just try it? It can’t hurt right? Go out there and, view the baboons with new eyes.
(Lights dim in the hallway and brighten in the main room)
Elizabeth – Herald I never noticed how strong you look. I mean, umm... (She blushes) It’s the wine, definitely the wine.
Herald – I’m sure you’d want it to be... or would you? (He smiles and walks slowly toward Elizabeth)
Elizabeth – (shakily) Now... just stay right over there till this stuff wears off.
Herald – (Sighs) Sure, I wouldn’t want it that way anyhow. (Elizabeth sighs in relief, they both laugh) Sorry about your boyfriend.
Elizabeth – It’s alright, but thanks, I guess if he could do that I didn’t want him anyway. (By this time the lights should slowly go back to a normal setting)
Herald – Sure shootin’. But, at least you had someone. See me? It is the wine talking that made you say that cause even though I’m a plumber I don’t look strong enough to appeal. Never even had a girlfriend (laughs bitterly), it’s all because I couldn’t do well in school. No matter how hard I tried.
Elizabeth – Herald... Uhm. Where’s Roger?
Roger – I’m comin’ I’m comin’. (He’s holding a pin stripe hat in his right hand, and a magic 8 ball in his left. A mirror is tucked under his arm)
Elizabeth – There he is! What is that you’re carrying?
Roger – This (He holds it up) is a hat.
Elizabeth – I can see that, what else? They wouldn’t happen to be special like the wine now would it?
Roger – Who said the wine was special? (They look at him incredulously) Ok fine, it was special, happy? And yes these are too. The 8 ball is supposed to be able to answer your questions, the hat... well it doesn’t just look smart.
Herald – I like how it looks, lemme put it on.
Roger – Yeah, just call it my thinking cap.
Herald – You mean intellect provocation artifact? (He looks startled)
Roger – I guess. I’ve got to get some things from storage; don’t do anything... right well you know.
Elizabeth – And here I thought the wine was wearing off.
Herald – You are correct, our senses have returned to normal.
Elizabeth - Well I’m not going to waste any time... (She takes the 8-ball) First let’s start off with basic stuff. Is my favorite color blue? (Shakes it up vigorously) It says no.
Herald – Is that not the correct answer? It seems we might have a judicious ball.
Elizabeth – Uhuh, maybe. Let’s try something harder. Do I have to only ask yes or no questions? (She shakes it impulsively)
Herald – It says yes doesn’t it? (She nods)
Elizabeth – Do I know how to drive stick-shift? (Shake, less emphasis) It says no, and it’s right again. I think this might be legit.
Roger – (Panting) Big help you two are, I was calling for you. Didn’t you hear me?
Herald – Negative.
Roger – Yeah, maybe. Anyway this is a bar so if you are going to hang around you have to drink something.
Elizabeth – Roger that! Pour us a bunch of shot glasses full of that wine you’ve got.
Roger – Unless you want me to call you Liz don’t use my name as an affirmative missy! (She hisses and Roger looks at her with an amused expression, Herald raises a single eyebrow)
Herald - I have realized that though I do not need to speak with such verbal erudition it brings me great consolation from my previous life. If it bothers you I can certainly return to the vernacular.
Elizabeth – Please do! You were starting to live up to your name! (Roger starts looking at the face of the mirror at objects looks thoughtful and scratches his head at times at what he discovers)
Herald – I’ll see what I can do. (They both take a shot) Hey, let me ask a question. (She hands the ball over to him reluctantly) Will I ever find my soul-mate?
Elizabeth – Whoa now! You aren’t messing around are you? What’s it say?
Herald – It gave a strange response. (Elizabeth shoots him a withering look) Right, sorry. It says, “Ask those with you.” That’s not a typical response. Perhaps it means that my soul-mate is in this room... (He glances wide-eyed at Elizabeth)
Elizabeth – Uhhh... (Afraid and not sure what to say, she takes another shot of the wine) I don’t know Herald, you are pretty smart with that hat on but that’s not you.
Herald – You’re right, I could never be good enough for you. (Depressed, he drinks several more shots in quick succession, he is stopped by Elizabeth)
Elizabeth – Take it easy! Roger... Help!
Roger – Well, I have one more thing that might help.
Elizabeth – What’s that?
Roger – This mirror can help me decide if you two are compatible.
Herald – Use it! (Elizabeth is uncertain and looks nervously from Herald to Roger, she doesn’t speak but nods slowly)
Roger – Well here goes nothing (He holds the back of the mirror toward Elizabeth. Roger’s face goes through contortions of wonder, concern, anger, sympathy, and finally is left without emotion)
Elizabeth - You ok there Rick? (He is speechless) Did it work?
Roger – Yeah sorry Bethy... that was something else.
Elizabeth – (She snaps at him) Who told you that you could call me that? (He says nothing) Sorry, it’s just been ages since anyone called me that, not since Dad...
Herald – Elizabeth...
Elizabeth – Don’t say anything Herald, no matter how smart you are you can’t console a woman sometimes.
(Both men are stunned as Elizabeth fades and shrinks into her chair, she picks up a shot glass and fiddles with it as memories overwhelm her, the door chimes)
Roger - We’re closed!
Scissortick – (In the guise of a woman in her 50’s, he’s playing the part of a woman who is desperate for acceptance and even though she can’t pull it off she still wears short-shorts and a tank-top, he speaks in a pouting voice) The sign says you’re open till 2 AM and it’s only midnight!
Roger – Listen lady – (He looks at her closely, and then holds up the mirror, Scissortick ducks into the lady’s room) My my, have we found a silver bullet at last? (Roger follows him to the door)
Scissortick – Easy for you to say! You haven’t turned the mirror on yourself yet!
Roger – I thought you said you would obey my directions. Now get out here and let me take a look at you.
Herald – Roger what’s happening? (Roger ignores him)
Scissortick – I’d rather get hit by a lightning bolt.
Roger – Get out here, or I’ll start asking the 8 ball how I should go about exorcising you. (The door opens slowly and out crawls Scissortick in his original form) I might as well explain to you two that this guy is the reason that we have all these, “gifts”. Anyhow, I don’t have time to go through all the details cause I’ve about had it with these things.
Scissortick – Roger, didn’t the mirror show you what you’ve always wanted to know?
Roger – It did, but it was not the answer I needed.
Scissortick – Then turn it on yourself and see.
Roger – You first fiend.
(He turns the mirror on Scissortick and the lights in the room brighten to a blinding level, the director should use all the lighting he has. Then Roger undergoes violent spasms and soon begins to scream. At first the scream is weak and then begins to get louder and more haunted, the actor should try to make this scream last as long as they can and that the final last seconds of it should be as chilling as possible, then when Roger has no more breath he will remain frozen in a screaming pose for a few moments before collapsing. Make the pose he strikes as like the World War II painting, “The Scream” as possible. When he collapses the lights will go out and come back on slowly as Elizabeth speaks.)
Elizabeth – (Both Herald and Elizabeth get up from their chairs and rush to Roger’s side) Roger! What have you done to him?
Scissortick – I didn’t do anything. He was the one who looked at me in the mirror. Would you go behind the bar, count three shelves to the left, and pick up the first wooden cup you see on that shelf and bring it to me please? (She hurries to do so)
Herald – How will that help him?
Scissortick – Think of it like jumper cables. (Elizabeth returns with the cup) Thanks, take a drink you big fool.
Elizabeth – How long will it take to cure him?
Scissortick – An eternity - this won’t cure him. But it will bring his mind back.
Herald – He can’t take it back can he, no one can. He’s seen hell through your eyes.
Scissortick – More like he was with me the whole time. (Scissortick seems contemplative and sad; the other two are completely thunderstruck and seem to be having a paradigm shift, Elizabeth begins to hold her head and moan while Herald paces feverishly – during Scissortick’s speech Elizabeth begins to sob.)
Scissortick – You’d think you would get used to it you know. I mean, a couple thousand years can make someone get used to anything. But you don’t. You see, it’s like you’re always losing yourself to the edge of some voiding sword and it always threatens to bleed your soul on the floor but it never does, no matter how many times it hits you. At first you rail against it and scream, like he did, but we devils don’t need air to scream so we can do it forever if we wanted. But after an eon or so you begin to cheer for the sword, it comes in for another hit and you say, “Atta boy! You swing just a bit harder and you can really cut me this time.” And that’s when you realize that all those sword swings were really just getting you to want the sword to win... and it starts swinging in at you in new ways that send your soul through levels of torment you couldn’t fathom. And then, you scream. (He chuckles grimly) But don’t mind me, I’m just an old devil what do I know?
Herald – The same thing Roger knows. (Roger begins to stir and moan)
Elizabeth – Roger, buddy c’mon you can get up.
Roger – (His eyes like fury, and voice that would break the world if it could) Never!
Herald – Roger... you’re still alive and now that you’ve seen hell you’ve got to find a way to get away from it.
Roger – (The strength suddenly gone, he slides into despair) It wouldn’t stop the sword from cutting. It’s the same sword that is always cutting everybody - we just don’t feel it as much on this side.
Scissortick – Well, you humans don’t anyway.
Roger – (Like an afterthought) Do you really hate us so much? Giving us gifts that could lead us here...
Scissortick – Yes, I do. You’re the reason I go through this hell of mine, and not to beat a dead Russian horse or leave you clutching straws but – misery loves company.
Roger – Give me the mirror Scissortick.
Scissortick – You say my name! (He hands him the mirror, Roger takes a looks at himself in it for a moment, laughs bitterly, and smashes it. As soon as he breaks the mirror Scissortick cries in pain, gets on his belly and crawls like a snake out of the door. The door chime rings.)
Elizabeth – There goes that freak.
Roger – There goes that tortured spirit.
Herald – And where are you going now?
Roger – I’m going to grab a bottle of scotch, my coat and my car and drive to the nearest cliff. You can come with me if you want.
Elizabeth – Roger!
Roger – You didn’t see it, that’s all I have to say about that.
Herald – No I didn’t (He takes off the hat). But I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t get you somewhere safe and try to find a way out. (He grabs the 8 ball) Is there a way to escape hell? (He drops the ball, and it lands on Roger’s stomach) Well Roger?
Roger – It says maybe.
Elizabeth – Well, it’s not “no”. After what you’ve seen and all this magic and mystery... You can’t deny that there is hope to go somewhere where there is no sword anymore.
Herald – Yeah, what that thing meant to mess your head up could help you find the way... Did you see something else?
Roger – Only for a moment (His voice more peaceful now). A white place, full of music and a sense of being hugged...
Elizabeth – C’mon Rick (Soft and tender voice), let’s try and get to that place. Maybe there’s a bar up in heaven for you to run. So people can be... full of the spirit. (She grins) Maybe you won’t have to search for long, after all it’s already Sunday morning.
Fin
Dt
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