Hammer and Anvil (see; Sword)

"Raskolnikov went into the passage and pulled the bell. The same bell, the same cracked note. He rang it a second and a third time; he listened and remembered. The hideous and agonizingly fearful sensation he had felt then began to come back more and more vividly. He shuddered at every ring and it gave him more and more satisfaction." Crime and Punishment


Hello everyone. The time is 5:41 in the AM and here I sit to update my friends. This morning I was awoken at 3:50 by the Spirit of God, telling me to get in some quality time before beginning my day. Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, Holy, Holy, is He.

There is quite a bit to update everyone on, this campus is very fast paced and politically dramatic. It's hard for an undiplomatic person like myself to find much sympathy here but this fact is slowly changing. I've come to an epiphany one that I've had before as a realization only... but this time it seems strong and deep and real. I need to change. My very character needs to change.

It's hard for a strongly set individual like myself to fully accept this fact (which is why it has taken a couple years for me to surrender). So. I have found that the very people I want to help mend and bring to the Truth with love I often hurt with my ungentle (although true) observations and comments. This tendency points back to my formative years when my few friends were extremely troubled individuals who really needed to be kept grounded in reality. There is nothing wrong with being concerned and wanting to help but there are some things wrong with the way in which I proceed with it. My peers are not kids so I can't just correct them like I did those young versions of my friends in the past, they need to be respected. For this, and some other reasons that I'll keep to myself for now, I have been heavily convicted. God's solution, submit my very soul in humility to Him knowing full well that He is the only one capable of changing this hard set personality of mine. How far will He go? I'm not sure, and it's a little scary. But... I can promise you that He will only make me more like He wanted me to be from the beginning, I will be even more myself after than I am now. Now to less serious news.




This video is of Jeremy Siblrud's birthday bash (we called him the birthday beast). It was really, really fun. We played empire and some twisted version of musical chairs wherein the players sit on various couches with one in the center. This person in the center sets a condition, if you have ever done or been this condition then you must stand and find a seat somewhere else lest you be stuck yourself in the middle. Some of the best conditions, "Whoever would like to be abducted by the person you like." Jeremy; "Whoever has been in someone else's dream before." Me; "Whoever liked the the other things on the merry go round better than the horses." Amy. Glad I went, a good time had by all.




Making apple cider at the custodial party. It was yummy. Also, my mortal enemy attended (who also happens to be my supervisor) Derek. We watched Flushed Away (that's not rice!). Quite a few people attended, and I had a good time gallivanting around.

I also attended a Fusion Dance last night. I was originally not intending to go for various reasons (some of them pretty good reasons) but when it got close to beginning several friends of mine were quite surprised to find that I wasn't going. Their genuine advise made me reconsider my position. I had fun, although I was mad that the beat was harder to distinguish in the modern music. I say that classic ballroom dance should have music after the style it was intended to be in. But I did get to practice waltzing, a lot. Which is good. I also apparently made Ashley's night. I only danced once with her but one of her friends had some upsetting news of some sort or another and she had needed the pick me up. If this was the whole reason for me to have gone, then it was worth every minute I could have been reading Crime and Punishment.

Lest you think that it's all play and no work down here at the college, think again. We just dedicated the Barbara Hodel Center and opened it totally to the students to peruse (and to clean). It's huge. It has seven bathrooms two of which are also locker rooms. Instead of doing homework I worked for custodial for around twenty hours last week, more than half of which were on Friday and Saturday. It was worth it. We have a coffee house. I got to meet a lot of the parents and siblings. The highlight of the week, hearing Mrs. Hodel try to speak to us. She's a quadriplegic because two years ago she fell down the stairs and broke her spine. Dr. Farris decided that it would be a good idea to name the building after her because her faith was astronomical. Her voice was broken and she was emotional and she sounded like someone with down syndrome. I think every student wept inside. She set a fire burning in us, that building is a lightning rod now, and a generator besides. Every day I walk past it I am going to remember all the giving and all the symbolism behind it, and it is going to steel (as in harden!) my resolve.

Oh, and there was homecoming. But I never got to attend anything because I was cleaning. But I'm not bitter about it, after all there is always next year. This coming week I have a buffer, a breath. Before the BIG plunge of the last two weeks of October when everything happens at once. I like to say that my Midterms aren't really midterms. It's funny, only the freshman actually have midterms during midterms. The rest of us, well, we're special. ^__^

I now have to go read for Western Literature II. Until later!

Dt

PS

I want an update too!